To guide their children through the process of navigating bullying on their own, parents have a lot of resources available to them. When parents find their children are bullying their kids, they may not know where to seek help.
Melinda Wenner Moyer, a science and parenting journalist and author, said this ultimately makes sense. Moyes said, “Parents often put blinders on when it comes to their children” and may be unaware that their kids are malicious or have tendencies that may lead to bullying.
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Bullying: What Is It?
Children don’t always bully one another when their interactions go wrong. Depending on whether their child is bullied, parents may react differently.
Dr. Larry Mitnaul, child psychiatrist and adolescent psychiatrist, defines bullying as unwanted, aggressive behavior typically among school-aged children with a perceived power imbalance. There are many ways to harm someone, and power imbalances can include anything from size differences to social status differences. Moyer says it is not bullying if a child is “mean once” or has difficulties with a friend – it’s just life.
Bullies Aren’t Always Mean
It is easy for children to hurt someone’s feelings intentionally. Moyer says that many children who engage in bullying don’t realize their actions are harmful. It’s essential to know the difference. Moyer suggests that children often do or say things they think are funny and then are surprised when someone gets hurt.
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Bullying Accusation: What To Do
One of the worst calls a parent can receive is that their child has bullied another child. Moyer says that “total denial” and punishing the child immediately are natural reactions. It’s best to “take a deep breath” and get more information before deciding. Ask the school administrator or coach if you can share any policies or rules with your child, so they understand the direction they broke.
Are Consequences Necessary?
Moyer says punishment is about learning. A child who engages in bullying behavior repeatedly or whose conduct is particularly egregious may require consequences if you cannot get through to them. Parents can, however, take different approaches. Children who engage in cyberbullying may be disciplined by limiting their access to social media sites.