These Parenting Experts Reveal How To ‘Un-Spoil’ Your Kids

Someone who is spoiled thinks and acts as if everything revolves around them. They expect they will have what and when they want, and if not, they will throw a fit until they do. Their lack of appreciation often results in others catering to them without contributing back.

Many parents experts avoid using the word “spoiled” because it implies that the child is somehow “ruined.” Instead, they use the word “entitled,” concentrating on labeling the negative behaviors, not the kids.

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The parent-coach Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions says entitlement includes: “the expectation that things will be done for them, such as household chores, or being awarded unnecessarily, such as candy for eating broccoli or being paid for doing homework.”

In her work, parenting coach Traci Baxley focuses less on the kid’s behavior and more on the parents’ habits and approaches. Baxley said, “Parents show up using the limited tools they were taught or attempt to overcompensate for the lack in their childhood.”

Reflect On Your Actions

Give yourself some time to think about your parenting decisions. “See if you can connect something in the past to your current parenting practices and engage in small intentional steps to make changes.” Baxley said, “See what bubbles up for you. Be aware that this kind of reflection can be difficult for some parents because it may bring up painful memories from their childhood.

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Consistently Enforce Boundaries

When your kid melts down, you may hate setting limits or saying “no.” Baxley said kids need consistency in boundaries of their own. She said, “Don’t reward their temper tantrums or negative behavior during breakdowns or emotional instability.”

Encourage Values Like Teamwork And Community

The needs of others may be difficult to consider for privileged kids. They can learn this by assisting with household chores or participating in community volunteer work. Baxley said, “When we participate in acts of kindness, we experience a sense of joy. “Whenever our children have the opportunity to do for others, these habits of kindness are built.”