It is a beautiful thing to receive a sincere apology. The words “I wronged you, and I take responsibility” acknowledge the humanity of the wronged individual and the person who made the error. It’s when you cease to say “I’m sorry” to apologize and start using it as a verbal tic: “Sorry, I’m not clear on this.”
Feel free to apologize if this sounds familiar! First, recognize that you’re not alone. A cognitive psychotherapist and author of This Book Won’t Make You Happy, Niro Feliciano, points out that 81 percent of university students believe they have offended someone. Still, women suspect they are doing the same.
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Don’t apologize until you truly repent-whether for spilling wine at a party or committing a sin.
Pardon Me
It’s time to resurrect this deliciously Bridgerton phrase, designed just for minor social inconveniences. Getting to your theater seat may require you to squeeze past someone in the coffee line. The last thing someone said might have gone right over your head. Instead of asking for forgiveness, ask for pardon.
Excuse Me
“‘Excuse me’ is often delivered in a very unpolite manner,” says Post. You need to do one or more to grab someone’s attention, maneuver past a stranger, or jump into a conversation. This phrase gives people a heads-up.
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My Apologies!
When you and another fine human find yourselves approaching the same entrance, self-checkout machine, or omelet station, this ditty is clutch. The act of goodwill is elementary if you have just a few minutes to spare, and there’s no need to apologize for being at the same time.
Can You Spare A Few Minutes?
We’ve all whispered “I’m sorry” to their cubicle or office to get a colleague’s attention and apologize for slacking off. According to Elaine Swann, founder of the Swann School of Protocol and etiquette expert, asking permission is better than asking for forgiveness. Do not barge in without an appointment. Ask, ‘Is this the right time for us to chat? Would you mind giving me five minutes?'” she suggests. Finally, “Pause and wait for their response.”