Anyone who has ever been in love will tell you it feels pretty freaking great, but only when that love is reciprocated. What if it isn’t? It’s more than just a crush if you’ve ever experienced that longing so intense that you think you’ll explode because it’s more encompassing and overwhelming than a crush alone.
Leanna Stockard, LMFT, a marriage, and family therapist, explains that unrequited love occurs when a person does not reciprocate a love shown to them. There are only two types of feelings: strong feelings or no feelings at all.
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It seems pretty accurate to describe a relationship as unrequited. The term “requited” means “returned,” so unrequited means you don’t get the feeling back. Monica Vermani, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, says this imbalance of affection can cause anxiety, depression, stress, and feeling unworthy-not ideal.
How Does Unrequited Love Look?
The fundamental characteristic of unrequited love is an imbalance in effort, affection, and attention. You can tell whether your love is unrequited by the person’s lack of response to your texts or calls, their hesitation to spend time with you, or even their ignorance of your existence.
How Can You Tell If Someone Loves You Unrequitedly?
Vermani says these signs can indicate that your feelings might be one-sided:
- There is no reciprocity in spending quality time with or including the person in their life.
- It’s not mutual affection, like gifts, texts, notes, or DMs.
- It seems that they are uninterested or unavailable.
- They’re already committed to someone else.
- You see them flirting with other people. It is also rare for them to flirt with you.
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Unrequited Love: Is It Real?
Despite feeling like you’re in a romance novel, unrequited love is an intense longing or obsession. You might not know them as well as you think you do to fall in love with them. Vermani says that when a relationship is mutual, there is balance, give and take, shared intimacy, trust, reciprocal transparency, and commitment that grows over time.