Single mom by choice (SMBC) has had plenty of conversations with friends, family, and acquaintances about starting a family through a fertility center and sperm bank. However, we would have never thought about how we would communicate the topic ‘dad to our daughters, assuming we would be open and honest throughout.
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Introducing tricky topics through children’s books can be easy. SMBC and board-certified psychologist Traci S. Williams recommend teaching the subject to young children early. She said, “Children begin to understand gender, moms, and dads around 2 to 3 years of age. You can read the story with your child and compare the characters to your family.”
An SMBC herself, Melissa Macdonald wrote Mimi, the Solo Magician Mom, and Cameron: A Donor Conception Story in response to meeting other SMBCs in online groups. Macdonald says the women inspired her in these groups. “I was enchanted by their perseverance, strength, and care when raising a child alone and being transparent.” One more resource to assist women with this conversation could help. Women are often looking for resources.”
Many single mothers are turning to support groups for guidance in explaining the missing father to their children as they struggle to create satisfactory and reassuring answers. In contrast, others come up with their explanations.
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Regarding the development of children of single mothers by choice, child-development experts say that it will be several years before they can judge them. Several studies suggest that children of single mothers experience emotional and academic problems, but those studies have mainly focused on low-income families, many of which have teen mothers. Children with mature and financially stable single mothers have not been studied for long periods.