Setting boundaries with your parents can be challenging as an adult. In some cases, it may be necessary for you and your relationship to survive. It is your responsibility to know your boundaries. As a result, you are honoring your needs and respecting yourself.
Allison Hart, a psychological associate, described boundaries as “a description of your behavior when someone crosses them.” She said, “A boundary is not telling someone they need to change. It’s changing your relationship with someone or their behavior” when their actions compromise your well-being.
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The fear of hurting a parent’s relationship often prevents adult children from establishing boundaries. Keep your circumstances, history, and connection with your parents in mind when setting boundaries.
What boundaries might adult children want to set with their parents? Here are the ones you ought to consider and how to have them.
There Is No Commentary About My Body
Parental comments on their child’s body shape and size are not uncommon throughout their lives and into adulthood. They tend to pop up more during the holidays or after a long period. Caraballo said, “It’s “most often coming from a ‘you should be skinnier or smaller perspective.” Body remarks are understandable. It’s valid to stop them.
No Digs At My Career Choices
Some parents pressure their children to follow a particular career path because it is more stable, lucrative, or venerable. Caraballo said, “Usually, the boundary-pushing and unsolicited advice comes from an anxious parent wanting the best for a child.”
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Unsolicited Advice Is Not Acceptable
Clinical psychologist Ryan Howes said he notices an overarching pattern of parents giving their children unsolicited advice about their jobs, relationships, parenting choices, money management, and spiritual practices. He said, “This may be coming from a well-meaning place, their anxiety, or mistrust in the adult child’s abilities.”
Do Not Gossip About Family Members
Parents sometimes disclose private information about a relative or another adult child – even when they don’t have the right to do so. Hart said this is common, “especially if the sibling doesn’t live up to father or mother’s expectations.”