High-stress levels can adversely affect strong relationships, and a recent study suggests your relationship can change. People experiencing stress are more likely to notice their spouse’s negative behavior, such as leaving dishes in the sink again, than their positive behavior.
Lisa Neff, an associate professor, said, “Put another way, stress may be linked not only to what individuals do but also to what they see in their relationship.”
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People and relationships have traditionally been studied for characteristics that could predict more positive outcomes. But Neff said this perspective overlooks the fact that relationships are not isolated. A couple’s workplace, neighborhood, and social network affect how their relationship develops and changes.
To ensure that all that cumulative stress does not affect your view of each other, what can you do? Here are some relationship-aiding tips from Neff and marriage therapists.
Identify Your Triggers
Neff said knowing how stress affects us at the moment is crucial. She said, “People are more likely to recognize stressors when they are aware of them, and thus attempt to correct for it.” Try recognizing your triggers by concentrating on situations that evoke strong emotions.
Relax For A While
Get some space from your partner and avoid ruining the relationship vibe. According to Neff, a 1989 study by the University of Pennsylvania found that taking time away from your partner after a stressful workday will strengthen your relationship.
Develop Effective Stress Management Techniques
Kurt Smith, a psychotherapist, recommends stress management techniques to minimize stress spillover. He said, “Some common ones are exercise, meditation or prayer, and writing or journaling. Self-monitoring stress levels and building emotional intelligence are also important and helpful.”
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Seek Outside Advice If This Problem Persists
Stress spillover can be a severe problem in your relationship, so consider getting a third-party perspective. Higgins recommends working with a professional who is familiar with couples dynamics.
She said, “Working with someone who operates on a purely personal level can harm your relationship, rather than helping couples deal with bias, differences, high-stress levels, and relational discord.”