Tanika Ray’s Healing Process From Her Mother’s Trauma

Celebrity mom Tanika Roy discusses how childhood trauma held her back and her steps to finally break the cycle.

Despite not having physical scars, the emotional neglect I experienced as a child affects my every decision, and many of my parenting mistakes stem right from that messy childhood trauma.

As an intentional mom, I intend to dismantle this pain, begin the recovery process, and make different choices in the future.

Awakening Buried Trauma

For years, I struggled with addiction, bad relationships, and body image issues but failed to find the source of my pain.

Although I’m still healing, solving this mystery has finally put me on the right path.

The desire for our mother’s love and nurturing runs deep in us. I cannot understate the power of our mothership.

We can be intentional with our actions once we understand the importance of our role.

Healing Began On Mother’s Day

My mother always raised me as a devoted daughter, and I spent every Mother’s Day with her. I spent Mother’s Day with my best friend and our children.

My usual role of avoiding confrontation and walking away changed when I told the truth.

I had never expected how my parents would react to me. They called and texted to congratulate me.

My parents thanked me and asked for time to process this change. I haven’t completely forgiven them.

Affirmations Break The Cycle Of Trauma

When I was seven months pregnant, I watched Oprah discussing The Conscious Parent with Dr. Shefali Tsabury. I was terrified of having a baby.

I had no idea how to be a good mother.  My mother showed me how to be a mother who respects her child; that was the inspiration I needed.

Kids lose their spirit when we break them. Everyone stays small when we break them.

Focusing On What Matters

As I prepared to become a parent, I spent a lot of time figuring out which parenting values were mine and which ones I inherited from my mother.

She is changing her belief because of the independent spirit she sees in my little girl. She is an extraordinary child.

I aimed to make up for my mistakes when I was younger. As an intentional mom, I have been learning to do it daily.