What is the secret to the “perfect” marriage? Mom and wife Nikki Pennington had just celebrated her 11-year wedding anniversary with her husband Jerred when some friends asked her this very question. She said that she remembered thinking, “My goodness, if they only knew. There’s no secret … We don’t even go on dates!”
What’s The Secret?
After thinking the question over for a few days, Nikki decided to pen this Facebook post. It has since gone viral for its simple, heartfelt advice.
“Jer and I have been together since we were teenagers.” she writes. “After thirteen years of being together and eleven years of marriage, I’ve had people ask me, ‘So, what’s the secret to a successful marriage?'”
Nikki shares that she usually laughs when she’s asked this question. She goes on to say that she’s heard of the typical “Don’t go to bed angry” or the “Always say I love you when they leave” and has her own thoughts on that advice.
“You guys, do you know how many times in eleven years Jer has taken residency on the couch prior to us having kids because we were mad? Do you know how many times he’s left without us saying ‘I love you’ because of kids and life? His way of saying ‘I love you’ some mornings is letting me sleep in when he leaves and everyone is still asleep.”
There Is No Secret
Nikki goes on to reveal that “The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all.”
“It’s get up and try again over and over every damn day. It’s hanging on tight when you are young, newly married and living on frozen dinners because it’s all you can afford. It’s staying up all night in tears with your first newborn child because you both are over tired, overwhelmed and scared to death but you are in it together. It’s counting pennies when you are young so that you can build a life together for your future family. It’s about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, that your marriage won’t be a highlight reel because that’s not real life. It’s about being deep in the trenches of so many obstacles that life could throw you and getting to look over and know that you aren’t alone and that your best friend is walking it with you. It’s about knowing that you can never be prepared for the burdens you might have to help your partner carry but you do know you are willing to be there when they need rest from the burden.”
Just Try Every Single Day
Nikki wraps up her post with this excellent piece of advice. “In the trenches and on top of the mountains don’t ever stop. Because stopping, that’s one thing that isn’t a secret, it will make you fail.”
Nikki’s post has since been shared over 120,000 times and received thousands of comments from young couples who have been encouraged by her words. What do you think? Let us know in the comments.