Parenting

The ABC’s of Parenthood

A is for absolutely positively the best gift to ever recieve.

B is for bub bub bubble gup gup guppies. Bubble bubble bubble, guppy guppy guppies. BUBBLE! BUBBLE! GUPPIES! GUPPIES! BUBBLE GUPPIES! (Don’t lie, you sang it).

C is for chaos all through the house. No matter how many times mom tidies up, it’s still a war zone at the end of the day.

D is for disgusting dirty diapers. Thank you, diaper genie, for keeping my home from smelling like a garbage dump.

E is for everlasting unconditional love.

F is for freaking out over every little thing. “Oh no, you scratched your face, we need to call the pediatrician or go to the hospital what if you broke a bone?!” (we’ve all been there).

G is for “GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!”

H is for hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog it’s a brand new day whatcha waitin’ for. Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dogggggg… hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog.

I is for irrational fear of the most terrible things happening to your kids.

J is for just now getting to the housework after a long day of chasing after Flash McGee

K is for “Kangaroo and her joey jumpity-jump. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, bounce, bumpity-bump” (If Animals Kissed Goodnight)

L is for “losing” your wallet and car keys because a little bird got a hold of them and hid them somewhere really clever.

M is for mom? mom?mom? MOM? MOM, where are you? MOMMMMM I NEED YOU! MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM MOMMMMMMM!!!

N is for NEVER going to the bathroom alone again….EVER.

O is for “Oh my goodness, what is that smell?”

P is for perfectly timed tantrum meltdowns in the middle of the grocery store because the avocados are moldy (yep, it’s happened).

Q is for quality family time together.

R is for rivalry between siblings.

S is for snuggles upon snuggles upon snuggles.

T is for “Take them to Grandma’s, they’re driving us nuts.”

U is for unsolicited advice.  Literally coming at you from EVERY direction.

V is for vacation… HA! jokes on you, we don’t get a vacation.

W is for waking up at the ass-crack of dawn because your child NEEDS to watch their favorite TV show that only comes on at 6:00 a.m.

X is for X-tra snuggles during flu season.

Y is for  “YOU can’t make me!”

Z is for  zzz at the end of the day.