Love advice for the modern relationship
Being in a happy, healthy, stable relationship is an aspiration anyone has when they set off on a quest to find “the one.” We crave meaningfulness, so inevitably the ultimate goal is to find the right individual who matches our compatibility so well that it feels natural. But what about after you find the perfect person? Sustaining a blissful long term relationship in the modern era is riddled with new obstacles that threaten our intimate connections. Learn to navigate through a time when social media, Netflix, and video games are prevalent distractions from meaningful communication.
My husband and I have a rule once a week: no phones, no television, no tablets… we disconnect from the rest of the world’s distractions and have a night strictly between the two of us. Occasionally, this turns in to a game night where we play cards or board games. Sometimes this means just chatting with each other and catching up about things that happened in our week. It’s easy to skip these conversations on an average night when your partner asks “how was your day?” and you reply with a one word answer before hopping on your iPad. It is easier today to not talk to each other than it is to talk, so make an effort and engage with each other. You will be surprised what comes up!
There is a sad tendency when we have wooed our partner and fall in love to stop trying to impress them. I am a firm believer that this can degrade even the best of relationships over time. Dressing up for your partner and taking them out on a date to your favourite restaurant (or better yet, try something totally new!) can help the flame of passion stay lit. My husband and I try a new restaurant each month, or if we are saving in our budget we will pack a picnic and take it to a park. The gesture is one we have had since the beginning – getting out of the house and spending time solely with each other.
These two tips are guidelines more than they are rules. But they both have one thing in common: they create an atmosphere that allows us to be focused on each other and eliminates the many distractions modern technologies offer. Experiment and find what small changes to your routines you can make to foster an environment where you talk to one another, because communication is the most important relationship goal of them all.